This is an ordinary member of human species. He is upper caste, belonging to the religious majority. He had a small town lower middle class upbringing and struggled unduly (though not the most) against lack of resources, information and finances to bring himself up in life. But since has spent much of adult life in large Indian cities, enjoying a middle-middle class economic status. He is English educated, digitally enabled. In his organisation, his role by default gives him 'a position of power'.
And he is male.
Ancestors of his caste enjoyed great privilege in society and wreaked unimaginable atrocities on people of lower caste. His country has been drifting towards reinforcing the privileges already enjoyed by the members of his majority religion, in the name of protecting the national heritage against real and imaginary foes out to get them and their glorious past. His digital ability, his access to English and his residence in a teeming metropolis give him much more access to information, collaborators and other resources to further widen the gaps between him and his fellows who may be a little less fortunate than him.
And he is male. Individuals of his type, for millennia, enjoyed incredible privileges, and caused inhuman suffering the other half of the human population. Right from small restrictions at home to political and religious rules, all were bent over time to strengthen this privilege, creating such distances and deep chasm between the two genders than any amount of effort to bridge that today is dwarfed by its enormity and depth.
And yet, he spends most of his waking hours in service. He teaches youngsters all day, not just professional skills, but ethical dispositions, like compassion and empathy. He worries about the havoc humans are wreaking on the planet -- men and women and all alike -- and tries to lead a minimalistic life, with unrealistic hopes but no presumptions that his puny efforts to saving the environment will contribute to reversing all the damage around him. He struggles to understand how women have been subjugated and discriminated against all these millennia when he finds them almost completely similar to men -- in intelligence, capability and of course meanness! In fact, he probably has more female friends and male. His students, his collaborators -- are as many women as man. And he and other well-meaning men like him in his organisation tremble under a not-at-all-imaginary threat of being wrongly implicated by POSH related policies, which, while unavoidable, are regularly weaponised by a section of disgruntled students against their teachers to settle scores. While the number of people who do this may be really tiny, the terror it creates indiscriminately affects almost all, just like rapes, molestation and eve-teasing. So, he and his likes understand what it is to lose the dignity that's earned (the only real earning for many like him) through a lifetime of good conduct, because of a freak accident or by an act of false defamation. In truth, he respects creatures of his and other species (including having voluntarily given up the practice of eating 'definitely sentient' animals early in his life). He is known in his circles to treat all -- men, women, non-humans, English speaking or otherwise, rich or poor, his nationality, religion or caste and others -- with equal respect, compassion and warmth. Quite against the stereotypes, he is not into sports, doesn't enjoy boisterous talk after getting drunk, is not crazy about cars and gadgets. Though he sometimes joins parties, he prizes his solitude. He loves the company of his family and is thoroughly 'domesticated'! He doesn't have specific colour choices, enjoys music, art and literature. He is very sentimental about relations, particularly friendship. Beautiful memories, thoughts, sounds and sights sometimes make his eyes wet.
And yet he is male, though not at all an alpha one. He is just an ordinary human being. And he is not a bad guy!
On this International Men's Day, let's resolve to try and set the statistics aside when interacting with an individual. Let's just try and treat people as people. When you say something mean to one man, e.g. 'Men are aggressive', 'men have fragile ego', 'women are more meticulous/organised/disciplined', 'men dominate in meetings', 'men only care about sex', 'what do men know about being discriminated against?' and hundred other things, are you sure you are not being biased and unfair to an individual, who come in all shapes and sizes; and thus going against exactly the principles of equality you are fighting for? Don't make the mistake of using statistics -- which are very useful but only on populations -- to hurt, dominate, persecute or demonise individuals. Because if we are serious about setting the statistics right, there's only one way that's gonna happen, when we work together as equal allies.
And guys (not all, but most of those I closely know)! You are doing fine. Though you are what you are notwithstanding anything, know that most women love you the way you are. Keep up the good work! Hold your head high. And uphold the values and virtues taught by elders (truth, compassion, mutual respect, fairness, honesty, simplicity, modesty, pursuit of excellence etc.) even higher. They are timeless and genderless.
