PLEASE DON'T IMPOSE HINDI

.. because it doesn't need such imposition.

Some recent incidents:

INCIDENT ONE: Standing in the vegetable shop billing queue. I insist on conversing in my toota-phoota Kannada. The shopkeeper woman (who is a Tamilian speaking fluent Kannada) gets irritated and says: "Aapko Hindi aataa na Sir? Phir Hindi mein bolo na. Customer ko late hota na."

INCIDENT TWO: Deep in the hinterlands of Kerala in an eatery by the highway, I start conversing with the waiter in English (I wish I could use Malayalam, but I don't know the language). The Mallu waiter fidgets a bit and says: "Sir, Hindi?"

INCIDENT THREE: Again Kerala. Saravana Bhawan, Munnar. The Tamil waiter sees a North-Indian family of customers. While serving in his characteristically hurried gesture, he makes sure to name each lentil and vegetable in Hindi. He even knows सूरन.

INCIDENT FOUR: Two autowallahs exchanging pleasantries across the road on a Bangalore street. Both South Indians. Which language did they use? Hindi.

I think, people who are thinking that Government mechanism is needed for Hindi to become a national unifier, and those who are opposing its 'imposition', are both driven by their personal agenda.

Hindi has penetrated deep into all corners of the country. There's no doubt to me that it is more qualified than any other Indian or non-Indian language to become a national unifier. I am quite confident that amid all this political nonsense around it, that's going to continue happening anyway. I don't think the Government should interfere with this.

Instead, there are several reasons why the government should continue spending its resources on imposing English. Because despite its much less penetration, its threat perception is much lower and it doesn't hurt regional ego. The fact that it has cannibalised on so many of our cultural assets (literature, movies, music ... you name it) is all acceptable, even invisible. After all, it's a global language. It helps us distinguish ourselves from those who don't know English. While Hindi? It's that vulgar language in which the Northies do MC, BC. It's a symbol of North Indian vulgarity! What? Did you say, it's useful anywhere except in a few places in India? Oh come on! Who goes to those places?!! I would rather hop into a plane, go abroad without having to step anywhere in those filthy pan-stained places where this vulgarity of a language is prevalent, and never come back to this Goddamned country. Of course, I will send back a lot of money and serve my mother nation, and die a patriot. At least, for our general slavish feeling towards everything English or European, we have one thing to blame: our colonial past and those white-skinned British! On the other hand, God forbid, if Hindi wins tomorrow, we have to bow our head in front of those migrant labourers from BIMARU states! So, let's learn English. Or even French, German, Spanish. What? These are spoken by fewer people? Of course, but these people matter. They have white skin, you see! You said they are useless in my setting? What do you know of my setting, bro? Didn't I tell you I wish to go settle abroad?

Government should stop wasting its resources in trying to impose Hindi. Hindi is accepted naturally by people as a common medium. Because I am confident that people at large aren't so idiotic as not to see that it simply makes sense. Economically. Culturally.

To end, there should be space for those who don't know Hindi. And I have seen many such people for whom natural circumstances haven't created an impetus to learn Hindi. I think, such people should be left alone. Any compulsion to learn a language is going to shrink the limited space available for other languages (and people following them) to prosper. However, I am not certain that people who are doing social network activism against NEP are driven by compassion for such people, or by their concern for local culture. Most of them are driven by their regional ego, and servility towards English.

Some clarifications:
- The author of this post knows 7 languages. 6 are Indian. 2 are South Indian.
- He loves English as a language and has nothing against it too.
- Though unfortunately educated in English medium, he firmly believes that primary education should be in Mother tongue.